I recently read a post on this blog:

http://www.darktea.co.uk/blog/

asking for info on what to buy/make/know about a new baby. I wrote a long comment (longwinded, moi? Never) about our experiences-three years-bloody hell!

I have a three year old and most of the baby stage has faded but this is what I remember!

Sign up for everything you can, all the baby clubs etc. Check out all the manufacturers sites e.g. MAM, Cow and Gate etc. They all give out freebies, vouchers, dummies, soft toys, burp clothes, nappies etc. I only ever used a dummy once with my daughter and it was the freebie one I got through the post. Some website like moneysavingexpert can give you tips but I think I just typed freebies into google! Big supermarkets and pharmacies have baby clubs which offer special deals and money off vouchers.

I couldnt find burp cloths/shoulder cloths big enough, so I cut up some old bedlinen and cheap fleece blankets to make ones that covered my whole shoulder and most of my back. My daughter didnt posset too badly but the floor and the sofa and my clothes were grateful anyway!

I wish I hadnt bought a baby bath, what a waste. She came in with me or bathed in a sink for the first few months and then she was old enough to go in the big bath.

I couldnt resist the cute clothes but I bought them always in larger sizes, which was good because she grew really fast and didnt get a lot of wear out of the ones I already had.Seemed everyone else loved the cute clothes too as I got piles of newborn stuff and she was a largish baby so she wore them for five minutes!

A good ear thermometer is something worth investing in

Once the baby is born get out of the house every day even just to stand in the garden. It helps to stabilise the baby’s circadian rhythms and also will help your mental wellbeing. It can get really miserable seeing the same walls all the time. I built up to a gentle walk around the block and then to town etc

When they scream, sometimes it is for no reason at all. Write a list of reasons why they might be crying eg. cold, hot, hungry, overstimulated, tired and work through it systematically. If you feel flustered or hassled put them down somewhere safe, walk away, calm down and come back after a minute or two. They will come to no harm but babies can pick up on stress and will get upset. Calm yourself and it makes it much easier to deal with.

Try not to compare what your child is doing with anyone elses. Really, it doesnt matter what age they walk or talk or roll over as long as it is within the norm. None of this is going on their application form to university; do you know who walked first out of your friendship group? Best to avoid over-competitive mothers.

When it seems to be the worst, you cant cope any more, take a break, ask for help. Every mother has had those moments, not everyone admits to them, but its bloody hard work although lovely as well

Mumsnet.com - the greatest parenting resource out there. A website full of mothers who have done it all before, tell it straight but are full of compassion and a desire to help. Problem feeding at 3am? Post a message. Worried about the colour of your child’s poo, post a message. Struggling with your relationship, what present to buy a difficult relation, post on mumsnet.

Finally, 3 years after my daughter was born all the bad stuff has faded away and we are even contemplating another one, its all for such a short period of time. Just keep repeating ‘This too shall pass, this too shall pass!’